Many of my memories of when I was a back country wilderness guard are not highlights from someone's trail video on social media. I spent many long hours doing not much more than walking. Sometimes I was wet or cold. Sometimes I was stupid hot. Much of that time I was hopelessly lonely and also bored with myself. More often than I'd like to admit my brain would get helplessly stuck in a thought loop -- usually an endless rendition of Row, Row, Row Your Boat set to the cadence of my pace. Which, if that ear bug is now stuck in your skull, you can imagine might take you for an edge ride against the crumbling cliffs of sanity.
In the months leading up to March 11th, 2025 my awareness of this lived experience has been acute. These memories are in conflict with the inspirational content of most social media. I've found that the more I participate in the exercise of watching YouTube documentaries of people hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, the more likely I am to anticipate all the good shit. Those special sun rises, bird song, the merry sound of gravel crunching under my feet, and endless meadows of wildflowers blooming from Mexico to Canada just for me. My expectations quickly race out of my control.
Psychological Effectiveness
Even though I've tried to limit my exposure to expectation bloating media I know that this happens. At my core, I tend toward optimism and that means the suggestion of a good time can quickly become the expectation. In past hiking and running experiences setting the bar too high means that not only do I have to cope with the realities of the experience but also my disappointment that this reality never matches the dumb, inflated vision I have for it in my head.
Science gives us some tools to help us square expectations with our lived experience. The American Psychological Association mentions the following in this 2024 study:
"Increasingly sophisticated and rigorous randomized trials and other empirical studies have linked such mantra-based interventions with benefits ranging from reduced depression, anxiety, psychological distress, and posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms to increased self-efficacy, mindfulness, positive coping, and spiritual well-being." 1
While running from Snoqualmie Pass to Steven's Pass along the PCT I found myself reciting the Litany Against Fear from Dune (yes, that's how much of a nerd I am) to just keep my feet turning over. I've used this technique in other places and times too, usually to great effect. Sometimes it's as simple as self-talk about what I know needs to happen. However, I want something that will help me square my expectations with my reality so that my mind stays focused on the goal.
My PCT Mantra
Accept this trail experience for what it is, enjoy the rare beauty of this solitude, and be open to what might come.
So when I'm struggling with painful feet, wet kit, or just getting out of my sleeping bag in the morning I'm going to whip this bad boy out and use it. Looking at the weather forecast for Campo, CA on the 10th and 11th I expect I'll be using it for "increased self-efficacy" as soon as day one.
House Cleaning
This is the part of the blog post where I update you on the mundane aspects of this logistical challenge. It's a useful tool for me because it details the thoughts that get turned into to-do lists for myself. Hopefully, it also leads to endless meadows of blooms.
Resupply 03/04/2025
I've compacted the box with all my resupply materials into something I can carry to the airport and check before I board. It's currently brimming with tasty cold soak meals, my bear can and ice spikes, and probably-not-enough instant coffee. Once I arrive in San Diego, my first order of business on the 10th of March will be to obtain a collection of USPS Pre-Paid boxes for resupply so that I can explode this box and send things where they'll be useful.
Box-o-stuff for plane ride to San Diego
These boxes will be ready to go by 1400 on March 10th (when I get on the shuttle to Campo) so that they can be mailed at the postal stop along the way.
I'll be getting off the trail to visit the excellent folks at Paradise Valley Cafe for a burger and my Trevor Spikes Program purchase around mile 151.
In addition I will be supplementing my food supply with at periodic resupply points along the way.
Water
As of today the desert is looking moist. That's good news for the region and makes it more likely that water will be available along the way in most locations. That said, California is still in a drought and just doing a quick check of water sources on FarOut makes me believe I might be seeing some longer water carries especially where the trail covers low lands. Many of the seasonal stream markers have "dry" comments in them from as recently as yesterday.
I've solidified on the decision to take my Platypus filter this trip and right now I'm planning on a max capacity of around four liters.
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