Words Won't Last When You Say 'Em Too Fast

By Music In The Key Of E on January 28, 2025

During the winter of 1985-1986, I started reading Billboard magazine as a hobby. Eventually, I talked my parents into letting me get a subscription, which was over $150 a year at the time. The hobby became an obsession, and each weekend, I would await each American Top 40 broadcast with my oversized Hot 100 in my hand. With Casey as my mentor, these songs became my friends, but as in all relationships, some don't last very long.

Let's take a look at the Top 40 from January 18th, 1986.

40. Mike & The Mechanics - Silent Running

PD - Isn't it funny how Phil Collins keeps getting slammed for being too cheesy when his bandmate created faux-drama pop tunes like this, never mind The Living Years? Give me anything from Phil the Shill's first two LPs over this.

39. Starship - Sara

PD - Speaking of bands that get routinely drubbed - this will be the 2nd #1 from the 'new boss, same as the old boss' group's Knee Deep In the Hoopla album. They would rack up three #1s in the late 80s, but IMO this one is the only listenable one out of the trio.

38. Baltimora - Tarzan Boy

PD, OHW - One of the tricks of Italo-Disco is to sound as American as possible and leave behind any trace of your native accent or culture. A quick read of the lyrics will confirm that English is not the writer's native language; hence, the chorus consists only of oodles of ohs. Surprisingly, it will only reach #5 in Italy while reaching #1 in Spain, Denmark, France, the Netherlands, Finland, and Portugal.

Also, is he a Tarzan boy or Tarzan's boy? Both are referenced in the song, but they are totally different concepts.

37. ZZ Top - Sleeping Bag

PD: I often wonder how this Texas trio reconciles their 1970s catalog with their 1980s hits in concert, as they're so sonically different. I also think it's funny that the only member who didn't have a beard was Frank Beard. Mustaches should hence be referenced as frank beards.

36. A-Ha - The Sun Always Shines On TV

PD, THW - For a trio that created such sweet pop songs, it was quite shocking to learn that they all hate each other. In fact, they only reform when they need more 401K padding while despising every minute of being in each other's presence. That's called a job, folks.

35. Arcadia - Election Day

PD, THW - Every time I vote now, I feel the urge to pull off my shirt and pray (and scream like Grace Jones).

34. Corey Hart - Everything In My Heart

This was the third (and fifth straight) Top 40 single from Corey's Boy In The Box album, and it mines the same 'don't give up' material as his big hit, Never Surrender. It will hit #1 in Canada but peak at #30 in the States. Can-con strong!

33. The Dream Academy - Life In A Northern Town

PD, THW - This may be the only song that I play air tympani to right before that sweet chorus kicks in.

32. James Brown - Living In America

PD - The only watchable part of Rocky IV is when James comes out to belt this out before Apollo Creed gets in the ring only to be eternally beatdown by Drago, undercutting the 'living' part of the song and the 'I feel good' coda at the end. This may be the most melodic pop song that JB ever put out, and it hit #4 nearly eighteen years after his last Top 10 in 1968, Say It Loud.

Bonus: Stevie Ray Vaughn plays the lead guitar on this track.

31. Sheila E. - A Love Bizarre

PD - Every band should count off with A-B-C-D. That 1-2-3-4 shit is so played out.

30. Sting - Love Is The Seventh Wave

I think this track is the fallout from Sting being in love and dreaming of warm beach nights at Monserrat. It's some weak faux-reggae hippie drek. And I say that with the utmost respect for Gordon. I will give him some points for adding the 'every breath you take, every cake you bake' bit at the end.

29. Mr. Mister - Kyrie

PD - This is on the way to becoming this quartet's second #1. Richard Page & Steve George had come a long way from singing back up to the stars and their stint as the band Pages, whose three albums have yielded highly-crafted West Coast classics.

Also, I erroneously mentioned that this was the first Latin song title to reach #1 before an astute reader reminded me that Kyrie is Greek. It's all something to me.

28. Pat Benatar - Sex As a Weapon

Pat entered the 1980s dance arena with Love Is A Battlefield but stumbled a few years later with this rare misfire. It's not a bad song, but it feels too slick and soulless compared to her earlier work. It's at its peak this week.

27. Sade - The Sweetest Taboo

PD—This video seemed to be on VH-1 all the time, lucky for us. Give me the effortless smooth jam on repeat until I can't take it anymore. Then keep giving it to me. Now that I have told you how I feel about this song, will you keep on loving me?

26. Pete Townshend - Face The Face

THW - From his loose concept album, White City, comes Pete's second and final Top 40 hit at its peak. I say loose because I have no idea what story he's trying to tell. The song is at once upbeat and annoying, which might explain its entrance to the Top 40, but why it will go no further than #26.

25. Scritti Politti - Perfect Way

PD, OHW - Green Gartside started this outfit as a politically charged underground art-pop band. He veered the group into a digital synth-funk direction heavily influenced by early '80s hip hop and Fairlight samples - kinda like Trevor Horn with less space and more warmth. It would yield this, their only US Top 40 hit.

24. Ta Mara & The Seen - Everybody Dance

OHW - After Prince broke through, record labels were mining Minneapolis for the next big thing, the way they would strip Seattle for grunge after Nirvana hit big. For their debut album, the band had The Time's guitarist Jesse Johnson produce it, and it gave us this dance track, which sits at its zenith.

Fun fact: The band's guitarist, Ollie Leiber, was the son of Jerry Leiber, late of the Leiber and Stoller songwriting partnership. He wrote three big hits for Paula Abdul, including the #1 tracks Opposites Attract and Forever Your Girl.

23. Whitney Houston - How Will I Know

PD - Whit's second #1 was initially written for Janet Jackson, who supposedly passed on it. I'm suspect of that story because it would have been right after JJ released Dream Street, which bombed almost two years before Control. That said, whoever was picking for her was doing a horrible job.

Also, this was Whitney's first single released in Australia, while the US tried to break her with "You Give Good Love."

22. Jellybean - Sidewalk Talk

THW - This was the first single from DJ John Benitez's debut album, and it came out a year before he hit the Top 40. His then-girlfriend, Madonna, wrote it; you can hear her vocals on the chorus. That's probably what propelled it onto the radio at that point, but unfortunately, it overshadowed the verses sung/rapped by Cat Buchanan. It's one of my favorite dance songs of the 80s.

Also, you can catch Jellybean spinning live on Twitch for free. That's bananas.

And here's Fergie, Rashaan Patterson, and Martika performing it on Kids Incorporated.

21. Mr. Mister - Broken Wings

PD - While this former #1 song's chorus is reminiscent of the Beatles' Blackbird, it was actually inspired by Khail Gibran's book, The Broken Wings. This week, the group has two songs on the chart, one for each mister.

KEY