At the one-year mark of their college graduation, a pair of former roommates were each finding life in grad school plenty challenging. The math student in Urbana-Champaign had bombed out of a class in the spring semester, subsequently reprimanded by the powers that be for dropping below the minimum number of hours required by the terms of his assistance. As June began, he was addressing that deficit by.taking courses in probability and reading French. He was also behind most of his peers in passing the exams that would allow him to continue on toward doctoral work. There's a strong chance, however, that he wasn't letting these things bother him as much as they should have.
Back in Lexington, the computer science student was stressed about his financial situation. There had been no assistantship for '86-'87, and he wasn't looking forward to another year's worth of loans and working off-campus. Academic progress had been slower than desired on his end, as well; in a missive sent to Illinois in April, he writes that he's worried about running out of chances to make good.
--
I visited James toward the end of May to see our Transy class of '87 friends commence the next stages of their lives, also squeezing in a trip to a baseball game in Cincinnati with various other college buds before I returned to the Land of Lincoln. Regardless of the state of our "working" lives, I'm sure we were simply enjoying being together.
A couple of weeks later, James sent what would turn out to be perhaps my favorite letter from him.
James enjoyed camping throughout his life. (The photo at the top of this post accompanied his 1988 Christmas card.) He reports that it rained heavily on his way to the campsite, dark by the time he finally got everything set up.
It also stormed on the way back to his car on Monday but it's clear he had a fabulous time.
Ah, Straus Tobacconist, late 80s employer of several Transy friends, located downtown in the shopping mall adjacent to Rupp Arena. Working there had been one way James made ends meet at the time, but he'd (temporarily) quit in May. "Being away for a week made me realize how much I miss it. Pissy job that it is, you do meet a lot of interesting people there."
So, there had already been plenty of joy in the letter; it's occurred to me only recently that the camping trip happened one week after I'd last seen him.
What could it be?
It's the lifeline that he so needed, one that quite possibly determined the course of his life. I didn't think in those terms at the time, but I can believe that without the TA James wouldn't have obtained a Masters degree and gone on to his teaching career at the community college in Lexington.
But that wasn't all the news fit to print:
And there was indeed an invite, done up in classic James artsy-fartsy (as he put it) style:
"Gratuitous" (see center-left edge paragraph) was a word I'd injected into our collective vocabularies while in college.
It still brightens my day whenever I re-read this letter. And how he closed, perhaps casually tossed out at the time, really gets me in the feels now.
My response was written on June 24th (as noted previously, I am once again in possession of my end of our correspondence), and as per normal it's far less interesting. I was still in my first weeks of living the apartment life with two roomies. I congratulate him on all his good fortune, share my new phone number, seek advice on how to handle a potentially delicate social situation, and wish for another opportunity for the two of us to bum around. I also ask, "By the way, what possessed you to (host a gathering)?"
It took about three weeks to get a response, complete with Talking Heads sighting.
So, yeah, I guess it wasn't all sunshine and roses amongst various subsets of the invitees at the time. We were in our early 20s--what else can you expect?
The shine of the previous month's news was already fading a bit.
Maybe Suzanne can remember whether or not James ever passed numerical analysis. On the other hand, the solid modeling prof, Jerzy Jaromczyk, would become his Masters thesis advisor. It would take many years for my friend, perhaps the greatest procrastinator I've ever known, to complete it (and he may have done so only after being threatened with loss of employment at the community college). Prof. Jaromczyk brought a copy of the thesis to James's memorial service; in the foreword, James taunted us all: "I told you I'd finish!"
He put the letter down and returned to it on the 13th. It wouldn't be a 'Letters From JK' post, of course, without one of his interjections.
"My other story is about an assortment of small, grey, furry mammals of the rodent variety that have seen fit to keep me company. This is more of a visual tale but I'll say that the D-Con is now at work." Two paragraphs later...
It's fair to say that James wasn't always the greatest at housekeeping.
After reporting on his upcoming 5th year HS reunion (mine had been in May), it's back to his improved state of mind:
He'd begged off giving any advice about my situation, not wanting to "mess up the course of history in some way." (Insert eye-roll emoji here.) I'll skip over his take on the Iran-Contra hearings featuring Oliver North to get to the Kasem-ish sign-off:
On 7/22, I'm still planning to go to Lexington in mid-August. I tell about the Suzanne Vega concert I'd attended in Chicago on the 13th and list some of the CDs I'd checked out from the Urbana Free Library to rip to cassette on my roommate's player:
I also refer to a phone conversation we had, one that seems to have taken place between the time he'd written me and when I'd received it. Somehow, the topic of a grand excursion arose--I'd completely forgotten about that before getting my letters back, as his never addressed it:
Such a trip never remotely came close to occurring. But please take note of my sign-off: my lyric-quoting ways in casual conversation have long existed.
There probably was another phone call a couple of weeks later, as my plans had changed. I needed to assume greater control of my destiny.
Item 2 is a wow moment for me--it had totally slipped my mind that James made a very quick visit to Illinois earlier that year (I think in the spring?). The picture mentioned in item 4 had been taken in my parents' backyard, before or after we'd gone to that Reds game in May.
Choosing not to see my friends turned out to be the right call--I passed my remaining entrance exams right before classes began to get back on track and guarantee support beyond the '87-'88 year.
--.
Today would have been James's 60th birthday. Were he still here, there probably wouldn't have been more than a quick text or message on FB to wish him the best of days and many happy returns. Instead, I expect communication with a few other friends, lamenting our loss. And I'll be carrying him around with me in my head much of the day, cherishing multiple moments from our days together in Clay Hall as well as that summer we didn't see each other but found our respective ways forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment